


Step Into My Parlor

by orphan_account



Series: Earth-4590 [1]
Category: Black Widow (Comics), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aunt Peggy Carter, Ava Orlova is babie, Awesome Clint Barton, BAMF Natasha Romanov, BAMF Peggy Carter, Barney Barton is alive but no one knows, Brief Tony stark - Freeform, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Deaf Clint Barton, Gen, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Kid Tony Stark, Maria Stark's Bad Parenting, Natasha Romanov Feels, Nick Fury Feels, Nick Fury is Not Amused, Old Peggy Carter, Other, Past Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Peggy Carter & Howard Stark Friendship, Phil Coulson & Nick Fury Friendship, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Uncle Nick Fury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-01 17:42:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20262004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Clint Barton is a current agent at Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division. He had a nice stable job and a good life filled with doughnuts an coffee. He had small secret missions which he solved in days and would always come back to his messy home.A good life.It was until his goofy (REALLY goofy) but the intimidating boss, Nick Fury assigns him the highest secret case Clint had ever received.Help the Russians track down an assassin before it was too late.Although reluctant, he goes to Russia undercover and tries to track down the assassin.A life changer, he would soon find out.





	1. Jelly-filled donuts

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for clicking on my story, I appreciate it heavily :'). This will be a series called Earth-4590, a complicated, mildly darker version of the MCU but /not/ MCU if you get what I'm trying to say. A changed origin story for everyone. This story is a starting point for nearly everything on Earth and the next two stories would introduce the intergalactic side of Earth-4590.
> 
> I'm so excited about this aaaaaaaah! Enjoy!
> 
> WARNINGS:  
\- Nick is going to insult Clint  
\- Clint is going to insult Nick back

**NEW YORK, 1989**

Clint Barton was eating a chocolate-coated donut with no one but his bow and arrow when he was being called by someone. "Why now?" He asks, murmuring. Clint wanted to focus on his beautiful box of the dozen boxes and eat them all. He didn't want to pause his little love fest with donuts to answer a silly phonecall. So, he didn't pick up the phone. He had no one to worry about. No family members (Barney is dead), no friends, only a boss and a co-worker who was brutally honest but had patience similar to god watching the humans (they made) make bad decisions such as eating an apple.

Killing time, Clint began eating a jelly donut when his phone started to ring again. But it wasn't _ringing_ ring but a _ding!_ ring. With his mouth full of donut fluff and jelly and his fingers sticky with glaze, he grabs his phone and presses the random number on the keypad before widening his eyes and nearly choking on his donut.

_Nick Fury: I see you eating a donut, fat ass_

_Nick Fury: Come to Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division._

_Nick Fury: Hurry up, I need to show you this._

_Nick Fury: And if you don't come, your ass is on a platter_

_Nick Fury: Also_

_Nick Fury: Bring a_

_Nick Fury: Donut_

_Nick Fury: Jelly filled with pink frosting_

Clint went on a ride of emotions reading the texts his boss sent. From being called a fat ass to picking up a donut with pink frosting was surely a loop he didn't expect to be sent on. But he replied anyways.

_Me: I got a fat ass so what_

_Me: it's thicker than a snicker_

_Me: I'm coming :/_

_Me: I hope you got 67 cents big guy, I am just a small homeless man >:D_

After that, he gets up and asks the cashier for half a dozen of the pink frosted donuts filled with jelly and he ignores the odd look the cashier throws at him when he mentions the word pink. But he still rings it up and Clint gave him the money ($1.80) before the cashier gives him the small box and thanks him before leaving the store and going to his car and driving to Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division (Which is a long name, but hey, it's his job).

-

Clint Barton hands the donuts to Fury who was dressed in a white shirt and lined grey pants, his hair curly and his eyes similar to the color of gingerbread while his skin was chocolate. Nick Fury didn't look intimidating. In fact, he looked goofy.

But Nick Fury was a force to be reckoned with. Sure, he had the humor of a grandpa, but his threatening words with malice and maliciousness. He could have you disappear with no questions asked or kill you so cleanly, that officers would think it was suicide or however he wanted the death to look like. But yet, he was eating a pink frosting, jelly-filled donut (frosting on the side of his lips), with a smug smile.

"Hey, hawkguy." Nick Fury insults.

"Hey, King of mean." Clint shoots back.

Nick Fury didn't retaliate but instead threw him a Padilla file folder. Clint opens it and finds bodies strewn around houses, another picture had a political figure hung with a bag over his head with a symbol on top of the bag drawn with his blood possibly. A little hourglass figure with a circle.

There were about five different pictures, the latest one being yesterday.

"I want you to investigate what's been going on in Russia."

Clint raised his eyebrows, "Nick-"

"Fury."

"Nick, we're in a cold war," Clint reasons, "I'm an easy telltale for an American spy... I mean," He gestures to his lavender and grey color scheme, "Look at me."

Nick Fury did not look convinced about the argument, "And?"

"I'm not gonna do it," Clint says and crosses his shoulders.

-

"I can't believe I'm gonna do it." Clint said in a hotel room that Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division bought for him. He sits on the bed, crisscrossed applesauce, examining the crime scene photos.

For this investigation, Clint was given a name, job, and life story.

Alexi Orlov. An investigator who had a wife named Manya Orlov who both went to school together and married at nineteen to have a perfect life for their child Alex Orlov. It wasn't much but it was enough for Clint to have a foundation of his lies.

_Nick: You have to go to the precinct at eight a.m. tomorrow. So, sleep._

_Me: What are you? My dad?_

_Nick: Your former boss if you keep going like this_

_Me: I love you very much, papa <3_

Clint clicks the phone off and sighs. The only thing that holds all those murders together was the symbol which was sprinkled once throughout the crime scene. One located on the bag, another on the man's watch, and even one on his genitals. All old men in politics but all were different.

The man who had the bag over his head (Czar Kuznetsov) was a politician who wanted to stop the cold war.

The man who had the symbol on his watch (Dima Igor) was also a politician but was accused of being corrupt.

Another (Anatoli Arkhip) was a politician who didn't do anything but yet still died.

They were all politicians who died by the same person but nothing was discovered rather than the symbol of the assassin and no blood being spill beside the blood being a substitute as ink. Clint sighs, his head hurting. Does Russia have donuts and coffee?

Clint grabs a wine shade shirt, jeans, a black belt, and a skully before heading out to the nearest donut shop, grabbing a jelly-filled donut and a cup of black coffee which he definitely needed since he wanted to be up all night.

Something about this was fishy. But he didn't know what besides the political assassinations. There had to be something that connected them all to this one assassin.

Clint bites his jelly-filled donut and sits leans on the food truck on a cold night in Russia, his mind dancing with his thoughts and his eyes examining the snow hitting the ground with no sound. He watches kids throw snow up in the air and parents or adults sitting on benches, chatting about things he doesn't know. Unaware of the fact that an assassin was loose and from the looks of it, not stopping.


	2. Transformation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What is wrong, Vlad- Oh." Mikhail asked and quickly shut down.
> 
> Clint, who was facing the opposite direction, turns to whatever they were seeing. It's Julius. He was dressed in the same outfit that he died in, walking out of a building with a young male attached to his side and then, they kissed before walking out of the camera's eyesight.
> 
> "Yikes." Clint said.
> 
> "Yikes indeed," Mikhail says, his eyes not leaving the screen.

When Clint Barton woke up from his sleep, he didn't expect for Russians to be watching him as he slept. He was groggy, bed hair all over the place, his mouth a little numb from sleeping and his eyes fluttering open to see two Russians. It didn't help that he slept naked.

Clint was already tired of this and it was already a few seconds in.

"Hello," One of them said with a deep Russian accent, "You are Clinton Barton, correct?"

"Depends on who's askin'."

"Mr. Fury."

Clint snorts, "Totally not." He'll call them thing one and thing two.

"It's a white man with bandages," Thing One said and Clint can see their fists were clenched, "We have no time to play silly games, Mr. Barton. Get dressed and come down within five minutes."

Clint grumbles something incoherently as they walked out and gets out of bed to put on clothes. Leggings, a purple shirt that is overused, a long coat, and boots. Clint looks at the windows and noticed it started to drizzle. He steps outside to the two Russians and they all walked downstairs, the air around them unbothered and it bothered Clint because he wasn't the one for silence.

"So, where are we going?" Clint asked.

"To the crime scene. The assassin struck last night." Thing two replies shortly.

Clint narrows his eyes, "What's your names? I can't keep calling you thing one and thing two."

Both things stopped on the staircase to look at Clint as if to call him stupid and they weren't wrong. He was raised in a circus while his brother was dead for all he knows. Clint's few talents besides being the epitome of a human disaster were annoying his boss, have remarkable accuracy, and drink coffee without vibrating out of reality itself.

"I'm Mikhail." Thing One said.

"Vladimir." Thing Two replies.

Clint nods, "Clint Barton. Not Clinton."

They all continued to walk.

-

"Your undercover name is Alexei Orlov, yes?" Vladamir asked.

Clint nods as they ducked under the tape and into the crime scene. They were outside of the house ready to go inside when Mikhail stopped them to check-in with Clint, "No one knows you, Alexi" Mikhail speaks, his tone carrying nothing but worry, "As of right now, I hope you stay shut since what you're doing can be charged with death."

Clint knew this. But he didn't know that no one else didn't know about him being here undercover. Maybe, that's why he was given a fake name and everything. Clint chuckles but nods before they all went inside and Clint examines the scene.

A man was in the air, a noose around his neck and the rope hanging onto the fan which no longer flew the body around. He was dressed in jeans, a black tee, and wet socks.

The house was mostly clean. The radio was on and the lights were too as the rain continued to hit the ground outside. The walls were white marble and Clint could see glass stairs, leading to rooms that Clint didn't want to see, "Suburb and no one hears a man screaming," Clint vocalizes.

"It is strange, yes," Mikhail says, behind him, "But the assassination was taking place last night. Nearly impossible for anyone to hear since everyone sleeps during the time of one a.m.."

Clint sees the zipper open with some blood and looks towards Mikhail, "His zipper..."

Mikhail looks up from under the bed, "The assassin... cut his penis off."

Clint nods, trying not to imagine the pain of a cutoff penis, walks into the kitchen. He sees that the kitchen was mostly clean except for the chairs being on the floor and the blood on the floor leading to the crime scene. "Do you think that his penis was cut on the table?"

"It was!" Vladimir confirms, "But the question is, why?"

Clint furrows his eyebrow in confusion. Why would an assassin go for something so personal? "Maybe the guy sexually assaulted her?"

"That's what everyone is thinking about," Vladimir responded, "But how did they get from the kitchen to the noose?"

Clint looks back at the chair on the floor and tries to reconstruct the scene. Maybe they were having a drink and the assassin decides to kill them at that moment. But then the chair the assassin was having to sit on would've fallen as well to push the chair down to the floor or at least moved it.

He moves to the kitchen sink which was behind the table, "Vladimir, do you think the assassin willingly let themselves... get touched?"

"Also could be a chance," Mikhail answers, "There has to be a reason why they killed them. Maybe false sexual assault landed there but that doesn't seem to be their modus operandi. And if it was, then I'd assume it'd be a last-ditch effort to complete their mission."

Clint nods and looks to his right where the door remained open. There were footsteps-

A bomb dropped on Clint's head and he grins before going to the two officers, "Do you think that maybe Julius knew the person?" He asks, "Like he trusted the assassin but didn't expect this?"

Vladimir and Mikhail look at him with their eyes widening.

"There was no forced entry," Mikhail says, looking at Vladimir.

"And the footsteps showed them walking together..." Vladimir's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Do you think Julius was trying to have sex with the assassin?" Clint asked in wonder, "And if they were together before they came in here... Do you have CCTV?"

Clint almost wanted to jump in the murder scene. Did he figure it out? Did he just figure out the assassin's steps while just chatting with his Russian friends? Wow, they were a team!

"Guys, we gotta have a team name!" Clint squeals.

"No." Both Mikhail and Vladimir says.

"Poop," Clint says with a frown, "Does anyone know where Julius was last seen with a person? CCTV?"

"Follow me." Was all an officer said before Clint, Mikhail, and Vladimir followed.

-

"Panasonic time-lapse VHS," Officer Smirnov says as they got out the car and followed Smirnov inside, "The best we have and it circulates through the whole area of where Julius was."

"Just Julius?" Clint asked.

"No, but the areas where Julius was more likely was would pop up in these cameras." Smirnov replies.

Clint nodded and went inside the building. It was mostly wood-based as he can hear creaking and sawdust fall on his head. He can see spider webs surrounding the corners of one wall and sees a redhead walking out with a dog, probably to take a jog or something.

"Where're the cameras?" Clint asked, huffing, hoping he didn't have to walk up the stairs.

"Just to your right when you walk straight down the corridor." Smirnov replies and he goes to lead the way which made Clint so, so, happy because he so didn't stretch and didn't mentally prepare himself to walk more stairs. And just like Smirnov said, walk straight down and to the right and boom, they were in a camera room.

"So..." Clint says, dragging the 'o', "Does anyone know how to-"

"The footage is going to play in a second, Detective Alexei, wait." Smirnov demands and Clint doesn't want to push his luck. He was already speaking like an American and acting like a dumbass.

"I really wish we had donuts." Clint murmurs and earns a shove from Mikhail.

Smirnov, who was playing around with each computer trying to find Julius, found him within twenty-minutes. "Oh." Vladimir says, his eyes widened in shock.

"What is wrong, Vlad- Oh." Mikhail asked and quickly shut down.

Clint, who was facing the opposite direction, turns to whatever they were seeing. It's Julius. He was dressed in the same outfit that he died in, walking out of a building with a young male attached to his side and then, they kissed before walking out of the camera's eyesight.

"Yikes." Clint said.

"Yikes indeed," Mikhail says, his eyes not leaving the screen.

"Julius has homosexual tendencies," Vladimir concludes, "Can you zoom in on the man?"

Smirnov did it and immediately printed it. But then, Mikhail saw something else.

"Guys, come look." He says and Clint turns to see a different video. Julius walking down the street and the male seemingly, growing hair immediately and his chest grew as well. The young man suddenly changed into a young woman in an instant and Julius was being blind towards it all. The camera started to glitch off and immediately turned off.

"Well, this is new." Clint said, wishing he was asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's short and thank you for sticking through chapter one of Step into my parlor. I'll post more often and please comment and give kudos! It helps to motivate me :) and thank you again for reading chapter one. I'll see you later!


End file.
